How Fake Friends Kill Social Networks

The other day I ran into an old classmate from high school. It was a person I never really talked to before (in fact, I didn’t remember her name until she introduced herself.) We said hello, and continued on our way. That night when I got home, I had a MySpace request from that person. I ignored it. In fact, I get friend requests from tons of people that I barely know. Old classmates, people at the bar, friends of friends, and random strangers who just want to see my photos. I don’t approve any of them.

That doesn’t even cover the people who think the friend count is a contest and add as many people as possible just so they can say they’re more popular.

When I first made accounts on social networks I made one rule: If I wouldn’t invite you to a house party, you don’t get put on my friends list. See, when it said “friends” I took it to mean “friends” – not “anybody.”

This doesn’t sit well with many people. Some people actually get offended when you won’t add them as a friend. I fail to understand that.

You’re probably asking “what’s the big deal? Just add them and you won’t have to listen to them bitch.” But that right there is the problem with social networks. Once your friend list gets deluded, the service loses its value. Let me explain.

When you first sign up, it’s you and your actual friends. You post bulletins with inside jokes and humor at others expense. You post pictures of the party you went to last weekend, and you just basically let yourself be yourself. You can be the person everybody sees on Friday night. Everything is cool.

Then, you start adding “friends.” Your mom, your boss, the neighbor’s kid, your cousin’s kid, a few bands, some local businesses that you go to, and all the guys from work. Now, all of a sudden you’ve got a problem.

You can’t have your boss seeing the picture of you drinking out of a bottle of Makers Mark with a straw, and you need to hide those party pictures from mom. You know the ones I’m talking about.

You can’t blog about the prank you pulled at work anymore, or about how little you actually do in the office, or about the 700 Bic pens you took out of there last week because the guys from work now read it.

In a matter of weeks your social network has turned into a business card. It’s boring and bland, and not you anymore.

And that’s why people move social networks. It started with Friendster, moved to Myspace, and now it’s on Facebook. It’s an eventual cycle that really has no end.

Will some other social network come in and be #1? You can count on it – especially if your mom doesn’t have a profile there yet.

1 comment March 27th, 2008