Archive for January, 2005
Since our audience is mostly Americans, most of you probably don?t have any idea how the Australian government works, or what is going on at the moment. Basically, our Prime Minister similar to your president. The only person who can sack our Prime Minister is the Governor General, and the only person who can sack the Governor General is the Prime Minister.
So here is the current situation. The Governor General covered up a big statutory rape/sexual abuse case between a 40-ish year old head priest of Brisbane (capital city of Queensland, State) and his 15 (at most) year old girlfriend. Everyone wants him to resign, but he won?t, and the Prime Minister won?t sack him. Why?
Rewind a few months to the Australian elections. The Prime Minister had a very tough stance on refugees, at there was some boats in our waters full of them. So what happened? The Prime Minister relayed information and photos that showed the refugees throwing their children off the boat. The public were outraged, surely we did not want people in our country that would do such an act.
And now the truth comes to light. Their old wooden boat was actually sinking, and the refugees were actually trying to save their children. We then saw the actual photos, as opposed to certain sections of it that we saw during the elections. Yes, the camera was zoomed right out and there was the boat sinking, and the navy trying to rescue them.
So the Prime Minister lied to us to win an election (I?m not that surprised) and the only man who can fire him has shown the world he condones sexual abuse and is hoping the aforementioned Prime Minister doesn?t fire him.
I say bring back Bob. Bob Hawke, Australias favorite Prime Minister, who when he was PM he also managed to get the Australian record for drinking a yard glass. Bob 4 Life.
Later,
Kung Fu
January 1st, 2005
As a child, I wanted nothing more than to become a professional athlete. It was all I ever hoped for, it was all I ever thought about, it was my life dream. I would practice, I would pretend, I would fantasize, and I would take my vitamins. Then one day, my dream was crushed. I still remember that fateful day vividly.
It was a cool calm summer day when Coach took me aside. He was an older man, getting on in years now. By the look of him he had once been in prime athletic condition, but the years weren?t kind to him. A short man, mostly grey hair, wrinkled skin; the kind of man who always gave off a warm fuzzy glow; the kind of man everybody always felt better when they were around. Today, however, he had that look of fire in his eyes, his brow wrinkled, for the first time showing a little bit of worry on his once calm, aged face.
As we stood there, under the shade of the old willow tree that grew behind the north end zone I looked at his furrowed brow, I gazed deep into his big brown eyes and felt a single tear slowly roll down my cheek. I knew what he was going to say. ?You don?t have to tell me Coach,? I said, ?I?m off the team aren?t I??
He opened his mouth as if to say something then quickly pursed his lips again. His eyes now open wider, the wrinkles slowly fading away; it was if he was almost choking himself. He took a deep breath, slowly exhaled and then said the words that will forever remain deeply engraved within my memory.
?You were never on the team,? he said ?You made that uniform you?re wearing out of some rags and towels, and that?s a toy space helmet you?ve got on your head. You show up at practice everyday and steal our ball, and make us chase you to get it back. You run out onto the field and tackle people at inappropriate times, and worst of all, this is a girls league.?
It was all true what he was saying, and yet as I stood there and looked at him I was overcome with thought. There is something special about this coach, there is something brewing inside that ingenious head of his. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can shape and mold into a superstar, I knew I had potential. If I worked hard, ate a good diet, stayed with it and kept my mind sharp everything would be ok. A smile slowly drew itself upon my face and I hastily turned around towards the practice I had left. Suddenly I saw a tall man that I had never seen before. He was much younger than coach and dressed all in blue. That?s when I felt the cold steel of the handcuffs firmly tighten around my wrists.
January 1st, 2005
I was at the local Uni Bar with my mates and we were chatting and talking crap, and the usual stuff you do at a bar. One of our friends, Lauren, was receiving text messages from her ex-boyfriend. He was making her feel guilty for their break up and what not. Anyway, so she goes: “fuck these complicated guys with issues”. She looks at me and Judda and says “yeah, I much prefer guys like you two without issues”.
Judda says “yeah, we like boobs and beer”. I add in “We like football and porno, and books about war” (From the song: Dennis Leary – Asshole).
This got me thinking. I thought, well yeah, being uncomplicated is certainly preferable. But take it once step further, think about being ordinary.
I mean, lets take a really smart guy. He sees the issues that other people have. He wants his life to mean something, but he doesn’t really know what he could do to a world with so many problems. He realises love is probably just a chemical thing. He worries so much about his children, is he doing the right things by them so they emotionally develop fully? And what is the meaning of life anyway? What is he here for?
Then take an ordinary guy. He works because he has to. He biggest concern is why his wife seems a bit irritated. Happiness to him is providing for his family, the occasional beer and watching the footy.
Who would you rather be? Stressed, working a desk job, wanting to help the world… or plain and content. Well just in case you are, let me recommend you the CBDDY: thc a flower. To help you properly take this, DocMJ has a team of doctors that are compassionate and focused on helping you achieve your wellness goals with medical cannabis.
Just an average bloke.
Later,
Kung Fu
January 1st, 2005
I was cleaning out my basement after what we like to call the ?great sewer backup that soaked my basement in feces for 3 days? when I came across an old book I read back in high school. It was called The Stranger by Albert Camus. If you?re not already familiar with him, Camus was an existentialist and perhaps one of my all-time favorite philosophers.
Anyway, the main character of this book, Meursault, is a typical existentialist. So extreme is he that most of his life progresses without emotion. He does not judge the quality of actions nor does he care about the future. He is only concerned with the fleeting present. His mother dies yet he is unable to cry at the funeral, he even goes as far as to have sex shortly after with a girl whom he just met. Meursault?s life is driven by physical stimuli and physical responses and his devotion to the truth. He refused to conform to society by hiding his feelings, and therefore becomes a martyr.
Despite what else happens in the book, Meursault?s views on life are not only true, but depressing as well. When you get right down to it, the universe really is benign and indifferent. It doesn?t make one lick of a difference to anybody but you whether or not you live or die. We are all insignificant. We are mortal, the universe is permanent. The universe is forever.
Nature gives us pleasure throughout our limited lifespan, however as it did in Meursault?s case nature can also be destructive. Nature does not care about us, nature does not give a shit what happens. Nature isn?t good, it isn?t bad, and it doesn?t have feelings. It?s just there, it always was there, and it will be there long after we aren?t.
Accepting this is the first key to being able to squeeze pleasure and sensation out of each fleeting moment. Not being able to look beyond this pleasure and sensation however is the first step down the road to self destruction.
Is this the life society has dictated for us? Are we to lie about our feelings in order to succumb to society?s rituals? When asked if he loves his mother, Meursault says he was ?fond? of her, and that he ?loved her in ways people love their mothers? but no more. If King Lear had taught us anything, it?s that however true this answer may be, it surely won?t get us anything in the long run.
Meursault is a prime example of the major problem affecting the world today. Ask yourself, how committed are you to your own ideals? How far would you go before being forced to succumb to the rituals of society? Are your ideals worth dying for?
Camus once said ?there is only one true philosophical question and that is Suicide: whether or not the human life is actually worth living?. What do you think?
January 1st, 2005
Everyone wants a magical pill to be invented that makes weight loss easy. The market these days for miracle cure after miracle cure is amazing. Nothing like this has ever been shown on TV, but here at dotCULT pharmaceuticals we have invented quite possibly the best weight loss program you could ever hope for:
Step 1. Today, by exercising, burn off more fat/energy then you put on through eating.
Step 2. Repeat.
Amazing, isn?t it?
Later,
Kung Fu
January 1st, 2005
It?s hard to pick between the PlayStation 2 and GameCube without knowing what type of gamer you are. The best advice I can give you is to read this, read reviews of games over at gamespot.com then make up your own mind.
PlayStation 2
At this current point in time, its pretty obvious to see that the PlayStation 2 has the best games. With titles such as Final Fantasy X, Metal Gear Solid 2, Grand Theft Auto 3 and ICO it is easy to see that they have the upper hand.
A lot of people are quick to point out the PlayStation 2 is technologically inferior to the other two consoles. While this is true, it isn?t that bad. The X-box can push approx 25 million (in game) polygons per second, and the PS2 can do around 10 million. Although this seems a huge difference, keep in mind that the Nintendo 64 could do around 600,000 you will see that the difference isn?t super noticeable. Besides, gameplay is far more important over graphics.
Really the only downfall of the PS2 is that it is not a party system. It has 2 controller ports, and although it is possible to buy peripherals that will extend that, many developers do not bother making their games 4 player. For more online gaming option you should check firework frenzy.
So why do people buy it?
To put it simply, at the moment it has a huge range of game, and by far the biggest quantity of AAA titles.
Why would I buy it?
If you?re into single player games.
My advice?
Look, to most people the PS2 is going to be the console of choice. It isn?t mine ? but I will explain that later. If you play a lot of single player games, then get it. If your going to spend a lot of money of multitudes of games, then get it. At the moment it?s the best console.
GameCube
The GameCube is the party system. Super Smash Bros. Melee is the best multiplayer game out there, and probably the best fighter. Super Monkey Ball another great multiplayer game, and Wave Race: Blue Storm also is good fun.
Rogue Leader is fantastic, and Pikmin is an good original game, but the problem with GameCube is that apart from the games I?ve just mentioned, there is not much out on the system. It?s known as “the drought”.
A lot of people claim that Nintendo is a kiddy system. While it?s true that for kids, this is the best console, to dismiss it for adults is silly. Nintendo are doing a lot to remedy this situation, and perhaps the 3 most hyped games are all adult orientated, that being Eternal Darkness, Resident Evil and Metroid Prime. And let?s not forget that Final Fantasy is now coming to the GameCube. Also, I could get into a debate about what a ?kiddy? game is, but I?ll leave that alone for now.
So why do people buy it?
People have a lot of faith in Nintendo. They have always made fantastic games, and most people are confident that their coming games (Zelda, Mario, Metroid Prime, Eternal Darkness and StarFox) will be AAA, as they always have been in the past. Or maybe, like me, they pretty much only play Multiplayer games. The GameBoy Advance/GameCube connectivity is also a big bonus.
Why would I buy it?
Because you love multiplayer. Or maybe you have confidence that Nintendo will duplicate their past glories. Or maybe you want the cheapest system, with the best controller.
My advice
I personally think that by the end of the year this will be the best system. That being said, I do not know for sure, and it would be an expensive mistake for you to make. Because of Nintendo?s past glories, and because 80% of my games are bought just for multiplayer this is my system of choice. Like I said, it depends on your gaming style.
Stay tuned for part 3 when I look at the future of the consoles, online gaming, the GameBoy Advance and the last final irony.
Cop ya,
Kung Fu
January 1st, 2005
Time is a funny thing, but I?ll get back that later. Essentially time is a man-made phenomenon. While it?s helpful in describing the world around us and its events, it?s not required. Take away the time index and the universe will still continue to be. In fact, there is no real proof that time even applies to the universe itself, merely our perception of the universe. However shocking this may seem, it?s unimportant. We are human; to us time is perhaps the most important phenomenon driving our lives. When I think of time though, I can?t help but think of one sad event that still haunts my memory.
It?s been seven long years since the tragic Travis Roy accident yet two or three times a day the phrase ?eleven seconds? races through my mind. 11 God damned seconds, not even enough time to heat a cup of coffee. 20 years of hard work, sweat, and dedication; 20 years of working your ass off to play college hockey, 20 years leading to what will be the most memorable event of your lifetime. 11 seconds later, your life is changed. 20 years, 11 seconds, then the rest of your life: in a wheelchair.
?Eleven seconds? raced through my mind last Saturday as a normal night of hockey suddenly became more memorable. We were on the way home, me following my friend?s van when we approached a stoplight. The light was green roughly 15 seconds before we approached and stayed green. As my friend was halfway through, an 18 wheeler failed to stop soon enough for his red light and came sliding through the intersection on the icy Michigan roads.
My friend came to a sudden screeching stop, literally 5 feet from the semi. 5 feet more, 1mph faster and I would be spending this Saturday night at the funeral home instead of on the ice with my mates. Time has a wonderful way of playing out.
While my car was damaged in the accident, I couldn?t help thinking about the timing of events. What if we had left the ice early? What if we hadn?t stopped to chat in the lobby? Would we have spent the rest of the night laughing in the gas station parking lot or crying in the hospital? Would our parents be grounding us or would we be in the ground? What if I had stopped for a quick drink after the game? Would I still have my car?
Thinking back to 11 seconds, what about Travis who was tragically injured just 11 seconds into his first ever shift in his first ever game with Boston University. 11 seconds, wow! Imagine what could have happened in those 11 seconds. One extra or one less body check, one errant pass, one lost face-off and Travis would be playing in the NHL.
Time is funny like that. We spend all of our time planning for the future, but with what certainty do we do so? And when we do so, do we allow for the possibility of change? The amount of time required for one?s life to be completely altered is infinitesimally small, but what happens when it is? All of your life working toward a goal, yet in less time than required to tie your shoe it can all be taken away. Over the course of their life the average person experiences 2,680,560,000 distinct seconds. It only takes a few of them to shake up the world as you know it. Are you prepared for your fateful eleven seconds?
January 1st, 2005
Okay, this is the last time you will have to listen to me babble on about games, like betend, for at least a while.
So how will the consoles go?
Everyone always wants to know who will win the console war. The fact is, that only one company is actually trying to win it ? and that company is Sony. Considering how long the PS2 has been on the market, and the fact that Sony is still outselling the GameCube and Xbox by a lot, I?d say that Sony have ?won? this war.
So what are the other two doing if they are not trying to win? Well after the infamous console known as the Nintendo 64, I?d say that Nintendo are trying to restore credibility and respect to their consoles. They are also trying to lose their ?kiddy? image, by doing things such as securing the Resident Evil series and getting exclusive games out such as Eternal Darkness and Metroid Prime. Through the next 4 years, if Nintendo can shed their ?only for kids? tag, and make everyone remember the quality of games on the GameCube the same as we now remember the quality of the games on the Super Nintendo, then Nintendo will be one very happy company.
As the new kid on the block, Microsoft would be aiming to leave an impression as a quality gaming company, build up an initial fan base and attract many third party developers. Yes, I know Microsoft stated that by the end of the Xbox?s lifespan they would want 50% of the gaming industry, but either Microsoft are a pack of idiots or that was just a stunt to add to their hype. I think Microsoft also want to get the Xbox recognised as the online gaming console.
Online gaming
Everyone enjoyed the games of the Nintendo and the Master System, but once the Genesis and the Super Nintendo was released, games were really ironed out and the quality was vastly improved. During the PlayStation and 64 era, 3D gaming because popular, but only this generation has it really been ironed out.
My point is not to expect too much in this generation of online gaming. The PC is already a far superior platform to have online gaming, not to mention that the most popular online genres, Real Time Strategy and First Person Shooter are much better suited to the mouse and keyboard.
If you to don’t want to wait at a casino in order to play your favorite games like you often have to do at physical casino venues, consider playing at casino sites like www.sitidigiochi.com/casino/bwin now.
The truth!
The funny thing about all that I have written in this is ? I live in Australia. What this means is that I have never played a Cube, have had one game of Dead or Alive 3 on the Xbox and have never played Final Fantasy X or Metal Gear Solid 2. When I first started writing these I thought that this decreases my credibility, although the more I think about it, its not really that bad. Rather then you guys reading these articles based on one opinion of a gamer, you have read them based on the general consensus of the web. Over my (Australian) summer job I had 8 hours a day to surf the web (and play my GameBoy). Basically I?ve spent a very long time reading over all the games and specs, and I hoped these articles were of interest to you.
Cop ya,
Kung Fu
January 1st, 2005
I may be blind on the outside, but inside I burn bright. Follow me, for I will show you the way. I?m all that you need baby. I am omnipresent and powerful, I make the world go round. I prosper with wealth and I may cost you money, but you can?t buy me fool. Don?t even try.
Don?t bother looking for me, because you won?t find me. You can?t see me but I?m in your bedroom. I?ll die in your bedroom too, but I?m so much more than that. I?m everywhere. I provide you with fuel just in time to consume you. I?m a God damned battlefield, I?ll conquer all!
I keep you burning. I keep you alive. I am the answer to all your questions and the question to all your answers. You need me desperately, but don?t fall for me too hard babe, I?m dangerous. I can be one cruel bastard. Just give me the chance and I?ll tempt you, trick you, drug you, and fool you. I don?t play favorites. I?m never on time and I?m never where you expect me. I won?t wait for you either. Don?t worry I?ll get to you sooner or later though. You can?t hide from me, I?ll find you. I always do. I?m lurking around every corner. I hide in the most miniscule nook or cranny. I?m portable.
My name is Love. Welcome to my shack.
January 1st, 2005
A while ago VanGogh mentioned something about finding websites that you just can?t keep to yourself. This isn?t quite the same but it is something I felt needed to be shared with everybody.
I recently had the opportunity to speak with an interesting guy named Eric Bickernicks, and during our conversation he told me of a movie he produced and offered to send me a CD in the mail. So as not to upset him, I said sure and provided him with an address that I could be reached at.
Being an independent film my expectations for it were pretty low, however it?s safe to say that they were greatly exceeded. From what I saw, Eric definitely has some talent; talent that needs to be encouraged.
His movie, titled Alt.sex, is what he calls ?an offbeat comedy about the surreal world of dating, computers, and the internet?; things that many of us can no doubt relate to. The movie starts out when our hero John and his girlfriend break up (quite interestingly) and his friends step in to help him find a new girlfriend.
In his search for the perfect mate, John encounters a malicious hacker, voyeuristic co-workers, and loads of porn as he works his way through personal ads, chat rooms, rednecks, clowns (a cameo by the director), and lots of fishnet stockings.
Overall this is a great film that shows it?s not how much you spend on production (in this case only $32,000) that makes a great film, but rather the story that it tells that determines success.
As of the typing of this article, Alt.sex in it?s full format (as well as a 10 meg trailer for those of you with dialup) were available free for download on the film?s website: Altsexmovie.com
January 1st, 2005
Next Posts
Previous Posts
