Archive for January, 2005
Let me tell you a story about how NOT to treat your customers.
When ordering my Ipod online, I decided to order the play it over your car stereo accessory, so I added it to the cart too. A quick check of it’s description says “works with all Ipods”.
Upon recieving my order though, I found out it was an old package and it didn’t work with the new ipod that I ordered.
So, I called Apple, explained the situation and asked that they send me a box to return it. While on the phone, I also ordered a correct part and a AC adapater from the gentleman. I was going out of town, so I paid for next day shipping to use it on my trip.
Well, it came next day, but signature required.. so I didn’t get it next day, in fact I got it 5 days later! Even worse, I had to drive 20 miles to the fedex office to pick it up myself because they had “retryed” shipping while I was away, and wouldn’t leave it without a signature.
So, I called Apple again and asked them to refund me the shipping, as it’s only fair that I don’t pay for shipping when I have to pick something up right? Well, they hung up on me.
It’s at this time I notice that the power adapater the guy sold me is only an attachment, not the adapter itself.
Since my box for the itrip hadn’t arrived yet, I decided to give up and take it to the apple store 30 miles from my house. Store credit only.
I say fine, give me the right stuff… sorry we’re out of stock.
Finally the manager gave me my money back and all ended well, but should I really have to go through all this just to order a power adapter and car part for my ipod?
January 1st, 2005
I guess imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.. but not in this case.
While reviewing my site logs, I found a hit from another website that was an exact copy of my txt2day.com website. I mean exact.. the wording, the layout, the images, everything. IN fact, his FAQ page even had my site’s name in it!
anyway.. I sent off the usual cease and desist letter, and this is what I got back:
Please, provide the proper proof that the website is indeed yours. I require the sales reciepts, payroll for the coders you hired to create the site, proper copyright documents showing you have file the proper copyrights to the concept of creatting a text messaging script. I have bought the script from a user and would like to find out if they have cheated me, but without the proper proof I will take it that your copying thier work and have indeed tring to harass me to not use thier script and will follow up with proper legal action’s. You are annoying me with the emails. Please, provide all contact details to me or I will have a legal right to follow up with a lawsuit against you.
Have a nice day.
Name Removed
Payment details? sales receipts? copyright documents? None of these things exist for any website, let alone are required by law.
The law is simple.. I made it first, and I can prove that.. he copied the exact wording. Anyway, him and his laywer will be hearing from my attorney first thing in the morning. I don’t have time for this immature crap.
January 1st, 2005
No seriously.. thanks to the wonderful invention of the Patent, if you’ve ever done one of the following tasks, you owe the patent holder royalties:
• licked a postage stamp
• swung sideways on a playground swing
• compared 2 numbers to see if they are “not equal”
• Used a stick as a dog toy.
• used a laser pointer to entertain or exercise a cat (4 patents relating to this)
• Made a webpage with a form on it.
• sent a smiley face 🙂 over a wireless device
Anybody else know of any crazy patents?
January 1st, 2005
Don’t: Put your customer service web page online without having a copywriter read it first.
Example: Yahoo’s YPN (ad program) help page. It lists a phone number to call for support, but next to it there is an email form with the words “for prompt support..” above it.
I say “oh great, prompt support with no holding”.. Fill out the form, and get this. “Thank you. You should hear from a Yahoo representative within 48 hours….”
48 hours is NOT prompt. If it is, just how long were you planning on leaving me on hold if I called the phone line?
This will NOT reduce your call log, it will only get you double the complaints when all the people who sent you email get tired of waiting and call.
January 1st, 2005
I promise I won’t turn this into a Poker Site.. But I want to offer some valuable poker tournament advice.
Sometimes, it’s more profitable to NOT bet at all when you have the best hand.
Here’s a common mistake most players online make.
You’re in the big blind. The small stack moves all in. the small blind folds, and you look down to see a marginal K10. You call and the flop hits. There’s a flush draw, and a straight draw out there, but you have a pair of 10s.
DON’T BET.
Here’s why: If the other stack has that flush draw or straight draw, you don’t want to bet him out. Don’t risk lettign the small stack triple up. Check it down, and chances are one of you will take him out.
In the world of online gambling, seasoned players, especially those familiar with UFA ???????????????, often rely on their instincts to make strategic moves. However, it’s not uncommon to encounter players attempting to bluff, hoping to force opponents with better hands to fold, inadvertently allowing players with smaller stacks to triple up.
Remember, in tournaments it’s not how many chips you get, it’s what place you finish in.
Check it down, get the guy out, and it’ll help everybody make more money in the long run.
January 1st, 2005
A few days ago I talked about how MSN screwed up the user interface on their new MSN Live search engine, but will that really hurt them?
If history proves, it’s not the interface that matters, it’s the marketing. Look at Red Bull… They not only successfully marketed a piss tasting energy drink, they created a market for piss tasting energy drinks, but I want to talk about a more ubiquitous product (is that even a word? It should be!)
The Ipod has to have the WORST user interface design ever! Seriously, how intuitive is it to have to scroll your finger in a circle to turn up the volume or select a song? That’s not natural.
Another non natural feature is the time delay of buttons. Press the play button and it pauses, hold it down though and it powers off. That doesn’t make sense.
Even worse, there’s a “hold” switch at the top, that makes the other buttons not function.. good idea as it’s very easy to press the play button when my ipod is in my pocket.. but here’s a better idea…
Just make the hold switch the power button… It’s impossible to accidentaly flip that lever, and then you won’t have to worry about the time delay button stuff that confuses the hell out of most consumers.
Remember, these are the same people who think that they plug their ipod into their “modem”.
Here’s a tip for all you college students, and MBA’s out there.. UID (user interface design) isn’t about what looks cool; it’s about being intuitive and just working.
January 1st, 2005
I’ve been reading 2 great books lately. The one I just finished was Mitch Album’s Tuesdays with Morrie in which Mitch re-visits an old professor of his who is dying of ALS.
The 2nd is “the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime”.. It’s written from the point of view of a 15 year old autistic child who doesn’t quite understand emotion, but is brilliant with math.. anyway his neighbor’s dog is murdered and he goes about trying to solve the mystery. It’s very insightful. Read it.
I started reading books again because I’m tired of reading the news. It makes me sick. People are so Stupid, and I can’t take it any longer.
If I read one more example of people trying to blame their problems on others, I’m going to scream. A great example is the whole negative backlash against Payday Loans. Yes, they are a high interest rate loan, but that’s only because of the math formula.
People get freaked out about the percieved interest rate when it’s really a case of “If I give you $100 today, you owe me $105 next week”.. That’s a really high interest rate, but it’s practical.
This is why you pay them off on time… It’s just like your credit card.. if you let it build up it’s not Visa’s fault, it’s yours.
Another one in the news today is the mandatory high school graduation tests. Parents are suing to make these illegal as well. I say if after 4 years at a school, you can’t pass a test that 90% of other students can.. you don’t deserve a high school diploma. Just showing up isn’t good enough, you have to take some knowledge away with you.
It’s for reasons like this that China is going to become the world’s new superpower. Their people may be repressed, but at least they’re not idiots.
January 1st, 2005
Exxon Mobil recently announced their 4th quarter profits.. Just shy of 10 Billion dollars.
For those of you keeping track that’s the largest 1-quarter profits ever by an American company. To put it in perspective: Bahrain (the home of Michael Jackson and leading oil supplier to Exxon Mobil) only has a Gross Domestic Product of 9 billion.
If you remember, the 4th quarter also included Hurricane Katrina, so called “gas shortages” and other problems that all resulted in $4.00 / gallon gas prices.
Of course, now that we see their profits for that quarter, these were all neccessary right?
BOHICA.
January 1st, 2005
Using MRI scanners, neuroscientists now have tracked what happens in the politically partisan brain when it tries to digest damning facts about favored candidates or criticisms of them….
….”Everything we know about cognition suggests that, when faced with a contradiction, we use the rational regions of our brain to think about it, but that was not the case here,” said Dr. Drew Westen…
Full Story here
January 1st, 2005
Look no further. You found one! I’m willing to sell out and write articles about any topic, for any website; provided of course you pay me!
In addition to having me write articles for your blog or magazine, you’ll also recieve links from ast least 3 of my pagerank 5 or higher websites!
I’ve written for many sites in the past including this one, akpcep, resultsblog, carbuyerlog, and countless others. I’ve even had articles published in books… and somehow I have about 100 or so people who routinely check all the websites I write for. You can find more examples by clicking the “articles I wrote” link to the right.
I’m more interested in having a weekly column, but I will do guest spots here and there and my prices are very reasonable. In fact, if your website gets over 1000 unique visitors / day, I’d be willing to write a column for free (if you occasionally let me slip in some hyperlinks).
If you’re intersted, you can email me: Ryan at NoSlang.com and we’ll talk.
Don’t wait, act today!
January 1st, 2005
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