Brilliant Disguise

This is not a topic set in the reader. It is a story that is loosely based off Bruce Springsteen?s song ?Brilliant Disguise?. I?ve supplied a link to the lyrics, and if you read them, it?s probably better to do it after the story.

Lyrics

http://vintagegoodness.com/new-goodness-on-etsy-unique-vintage-school-posters/ Brilliant Disguise

I met her in a line for a Radiohead concert. We were stuck there for hours and spent most of the time talking. I?ve never had trouble talking to girls before, I?m pretty damn used to it, but it wasn?t my usual formula of ?ask questions ? pretend like you care?. Yeah, she was a glamour, but she was smart too, and nice, which really struck me. She wasn?t like anyone I had ever met, yeah, cheesy as hell, but shit it was it true.

She was in university doing chemical engineering, and I was an apprentice plumber. That didn?t bother her at all. But I doubted it was just a lack of pretension. Actually, I started to wonder whether she had a secret. I guess I?m good looking too, but she was so damn smart and so damn nice I couldn?t figure out what she would be doing with me. There had to be a reason for it.

And the more I thought about it the more I was convinced. I tried to keep up with her too, I mean I did everything right. Things I would never have done. Opening car doors, calling her all the time, going to chick flicks that bored the crap out of me. But there was something there that I couldn?t put my finger on. Something that I had to figure out in order to make sense of the relationship. I had long figured out she was far too good for me. I mean she cared about everyone, went to a private school, got on with her parents, hell, her original parents were still together. I just couldn?t believe it all, you know? When I looked at her, I just didn?t know if it was really her I saw, or some brilliant disguise.

Even as the months went past I could never get comfortable. We shouldn?t have been compatible but we were. And I loved her – a lot. She loved me too. I asked my mates what they thought but she had never spent a lot of time around them, neither had I since we got together, I hadn?t been to the pub in months, so they were no help. I knew there had to be a reason, but I couldn?t figure it out. Had she been messed up as a kid? Was she a tourist, a slummer? Maybe she was one of those girls who can?t be alone and I happened to be in the right place at the right time?

I knew how I felt but I really didn?t want to let her go. I had done so much for her. Not just superficial stuff either, like buying flowers, opening car doors and being nice to her parents. I would talk with her about my feelings. I was different, you know? It was a struggle for me, but think I did everything right. But I couldn?t figure out why she was with me. I was starting to think I never would. But I did.

Then I ended it. She was upset, a lot more upset then I would have thought, but I knew it was better in the long run. Because I had figured it out. I knew who she really was. She was herself. That wasn?t the problem. The problem was the person she was in love with. It wasn?t me. It was the person I was trying to be. My brilliant disguise.

November 5th, 2004

Myspace Advertising

When will MySpace Get it?

Why pay multi millions of dollars for a website if you don’t even know how to monetize it?

It’s simple: You’re showing the wrong time of ads!

Seriously.. while researching it for an upcoming website I’m making, I had to create an account.

(www.myspace.com/therealhockeygod) for the really curious of you..

Anyway, here’s the ads that greeted me: Wall Street journal, Hooters, and bad credit home equity.

Does anybody really think that 14 and 15 year olds (MySpace’s average user age) are going to click this stuff?

Advertise stuff that your users care about: Ringtones, wallpapers, music, fashion.

last I checked, high school kids didn’t read the WSJ.. Hell I work in a cubicle in an office that gets a free subscription and I don’t even read it!

August 6th, 2004

Email is Dead

Attention those who email me. I won’t be reading it.

I’ve recently enlarged my penis, bought software, and confirmed all my bank accounts. I no longer have a need for email.

That’s right spammers, you win. I’m pulling the plug on email at midnight tonite. From then on, every email address I’ve ever had will either forward to dev null or bounce right back at you.

I’m even restricting work email to people on my network, or already in my contacts list.

At last count, I recieved 141 spam emails an hour. And those are just the ones that get through my filters. That’s not even counting Gmail!!

Most of these come from the Whois information for the 40 websites I own, but a lot of spam is coming from the required email address I posted at Google directory .. yes it appears spam bots have even been able to remove the +nospam crap I put in there!

I just don’t have time to hold down the delete key every day, and it’s filling up my server too fast. In fact, in the time it took me to delete 140 email messages this morning, I recieved 12 more. 3 in japanese, 2 in spanish, and 4 from Chase asking for my account details.

Anyway. I’m giving up on email. It’s not practical anymore. If you want to get a hold of me, try AIM or MSN messenger, or just pick up the phone and call me.

May 6th, 2004